Daddy's Princess

In the interest of full disclosure – I am, or was, a Daddy’s Girl…at least until my dad passed away over twenty years ago.

There are many benefits to being a Daddy’s Princess…but there is also a big downside too.

On the upside – you get to experience a level of adoration and acceptance that is unparalleled.

On the downside – there is something that I like to call the “Marie Osmond Syndrome”.

Ms. Osmond did a series of interviews a year or so ago…in which she discussed the dissolution of her marriages as well as her close relationship with her recently deceased father…and her close relationships with her older brothers.

The interviewer asked her if her husband(s) just didn’t measure up to her father &/or brothers - to which Ms. Osmond agreed.

Speaking from experience, a Daddy’s Princess tends to expect her adult relationships (i.e. with her boyfriend or husband) to be similar to her relationship with her father.

After much trial and error – I came to the realization that this is an unfair expectation.

Why wouldn’t my boyfriend or husband treat me with the same level of adoration and acceptance that my daddy did?

The answer: Because he is your father. Not your boyfriend/husband.

My dear father did not treat my mother with the same level of adoration & acceptance that he treated me.

…and in Ms. Osmond’s situation – I would bet that if she did some research….she’d discover that her Dad did not treat her Mom the same way he treated her. In addition, I seriously doubt that her brothers treat their respective wives with the same level of adoration & acceptance that they treat their one and only “little sister”.

Many years ago, when I was experiencing the frustration that goes with trying to understand why my boyfriend (who later became my husband) wouldn’t comfort me (the way my dad did) when I was sad….I went to bed that night and had a very vivid dream.

In this dream, I had a three year old daughter who was sobbing…and my boyfriend/husband was comforting her…telling her that things would be okay….the way a daddy would & should do to his daughter. In this dream, as I was watching this scene unfold…I was getting angrier and angrier…and thinking to myself…”why can’t he treat ME this way when I’m upset?”

Then the answer came to me as clear as a bell, “because I am his wife….not his daughter….”

After I woke up from this life altering dream….I immediately started to change the way I thought about relationships.

I started to set realistic expectations for my boyfriend/husband….and moved forward with my life as a recovering Daddy’s Girl.

At the end of the day, it is truly unfair to expect a boyfriend or husband to treat you with the same level of adoration & acceptance you might have experienced from your father or brother….because they certainly do not treat their wives that way!

Accept Adapt Move-on

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